Insights from Atlanta Counselor Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT

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Over the years I've enjoyed writing little essays and observations about a variety of topics related to personal growth, emotional development, relationship enhancenment and other topics I find meaningful and interesting. I hope you enjoy them! 

You can read small snippets of each blog post below: click the title of any that interest you to read the entire post.  Each entry has also been loosely grouped into categories which can help guide your viewing.

The Benefit of "I Love You, And....."

It's not unusual for two people to disagree with each other. In a committed relationship the presence of occasional conflict is inevitable, although the way couples deal with this issue varies widely.

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You Get More Of What You Notice

This concept is not original to me (there is truly very little new under the sun) but I've found the idea that "you get more of what you notice" is so helpful that not only do I encourage my clients to put it into practice but I try to do the same in my day-to-day life.

What Would the Old You Have Done?

For a therapist, asking the perfect question at precisely the right time is an art form. I love being able to say to a client "In 25 years I have never asked this question before....." because it announces the possibility of a perspective that is truly unique to both of us.  I'm also fond of a few tried-and-true questions that have served me well for many years.  One is to ask "what would the old you have done?"

Heal Your Wounds, Honor Your Scars

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."     (The Princess Bride)

To be human is to hurt: pain is the price paid for the privilege of being alive. While wounds of the flesh can cause great injury, wounds of the heart and soul pierce deeper and linger longer.

"Got To" vs. "Get To"

This is another in a series of what I call "therapeutic distinctions", pairings of concepts that are similar to each other but which contain subtle yet important differences that can significantly affect a person's quality of life. Such is the distinction between "got to" and "get to".

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Make Your Bed

It’s difficult to know exactly what each day will bring for you to face: if life shows us anything it’s that uncertainties abound and challenges may spring up when least expected or desired.  Sometimes it may seem like every minute is filled with a task to accomplish…..a need to meet…..a fire to put out.
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Searching Where You Haven't Looked

I recently found myself feeling a bit unsettled during a therapy session with a client I've worked with for several months. Since we trust each other's instincts I described to him what I was experiencing and suggested that we review what we had just been talking about.

Making Pearls

I've loved this metaphor for years. It's the simple reminder that a pearl is made when a bit of sand gets inside the shell of an oyster. To protect itself from that irritant the oyster continually surrounds it with a translucent coating. This simple process repeats itself over and over until a beautiful pearl forms.

Heal vs. Fix

This is another in a long line of posts I've published about what I call "therapeutic distinctions", pairs of related concepts that are often used interchangeably but which reveal vitally important differences when examined more carefully.

 
Such is the case with "heal" versus "fix"

Maybe Yes, Maybe No

It's human nature to come to conclusions on limited evidence. Try something without succeeding and it's easy to say that you failed. Have a piece of bad luck and you may decide you're cursed. The tendency to decide the "moral of the story" is strong within all of us. But so often it turns out that we don't know what actually serves our ultimate growth at the deepest levels. What we thought was misfortune can later turn out to have been a blessing.

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